Odds and Bits


Freedom of expression, as distinct from speech. Fred, Grand Klarified Klingle of Los Cucu Clan, with severe visual problems, but still dangerous. Regalia by Violeta, of used typing paper. Probably a fire hazard. Obsidian knife shows ethnic sensitivity.

Today we will have luminous insights in small dollops. They will doubtless spur the formation of new university departments and restructuring of governments, preferably by the salutary application of a guillotine.

Why we should scrap the constitution. Or admit that we already have.

The Constitution says nothing about freedom of expression. It says freedom of speech. Freedom of speech means that I can say that Biden is a horse’s ass. Freedom of expression means that I can march in KKK robes with thirty of the like-minded through black or Jewish neighborhoods or, at least in San Francisco, defecate on the American flag. In practice of course speech is tightly controlled by the press and social media which in practice are organs of the government.

The Constitution says nothing about separation of church and state. It says Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof. Understanding this requires a grasp of history which the schools make sure that few have. The Foundering Fathers most assuredly did not intend the Constitution to forbid a nativity scene on a town square in Alabama, and for two centuries it never occurred to anyone that it might.

The Constitution says we have trial by jury. We do not. The United States has become such a fetid, bubbling swamp of moral putrescence and rampant crime that jury trials would require the population of China just to fill jury boxes. Jury trials are for the rich and for important show trials. If we had trial by straightforward bribery the effects would be the same and we wouldn’t need so many damn lawyers.

The Constitution says we have the right to a speedy trial. We do not. Check how long those daffy yoyos who invaded the capitol awaited trial.

Nor do we have a Supreme Court. Instead we have a microlegislature of last resort consisting of ideologues appointed by Presidents for the predictability  of their votes and likely longevity. . Some seem actually ignorant of the law, which makes no difference as this has nothing to do with their function. They could be done in software at much less cost.

Some advice:

How to Watch Television

When you are  watching the lobotomy box, and you see someone standing in front of the flag, change the channel. Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel, said  Doctor Johnson. Anyone using the flag as a backdrop thinks you are a boob, or is at least playing the odds, knowing that most people are boobs.  If there are three flags, the assumption of your marginally human intelligence increases as the cube.

When an official in Washington says “national security,” hold your wallet firmly in one hand and a pistol in the other. You are about to be pillaged. Do you want another goddam semi-functional aircraft carrier or pricey trinket of a fighter plane that can barely fly. You would be better off with a new lawnmower.

Whenever some wretched pickpocket of a pol starts talking about the fight against climate change, you should ignore him, unless you are in range and happen to have a baseball bat. He doesn’t care about global warming any more than he does about trash pick-up in another galaxy. Anyway, as Republicans say, there is no such thing as global warming. It’s just that the world gets hotter every year, which makes it look like global warming.

I am not entirely sure what to do when someone in office starts talking about human rights, though at close range bird shot is said to work. Rock salt can be used in a pinch.

The United States values human rights intensely. Just now it promotes them in the Ukraine by poisoning the place for generations with depleted uranium and spreading cluster bombs around to blow the legs off their children. This is so they will have freedom and democracy. But not legs.

Now, voting.

Don’t do it. It is like admitting you made four hundred’ on your SATs or can’t dress yourself. Anyway, it doesn’t matter which wing of the Bicephalous Uniparty you vote for since both will be in favor of democracy in some country and kill everybody there. Besides, anything with two heads and wings is probably unpleasant.

Liberals and conservatives

These are like having to choose between incurable dysentery and infected hemorrhoids. Instead of arguing about these twin plagues it would probably be better to go to a good dirt bar, maybe one with a pole dancer, and get drunk while telling dirty jokes. That’s what I would do, anyway.

Remember that, at their purest, conservatives are heartless and liberals, goofy. Typically the two work together in bipartisan efficiency. Traditionally conservatives have wrecked foreign policy while liberals have botched things at home.

As many may know,  the  thing that most gnaws at the conservative’s heart, that makes him wake at three a.m. in a cold sweat, shuddering with the night horrors,  is the thought of paying for anything for somebody else. Thus he balks at the government’s paying university for a brilliant kid who would probably invent antigravity or something.

Liberals insist that there is no such thing as intelligence, being themselves the best evidence for this proposition, except in heartwarming minorities, who have as much of it as everybody else even if there isnt any. The said liberals won’t let you have a test to find bright kids, who don’t exist anyway because they are social constructs and, besides,  learning anything is  structural racism or something.

We are doomed. And probably deserve it.

Why are we doomed? Because decent people, honest, well-intentioned, content with a good life cannot, no matter how smart, compete with the selfish, avaricious, kleptomaniacal, amoral, and ambitious. The ideal for rising to high position is the matinee-idol psychopath. Sometimes just grubby and unprincipled will do the trick.

Note that in the White House we have Baffled Joe, who finished seventy-sixth in a class of eighty-five in a second-rate law school after being caught cheating, a Napoleonic draft-dodger, neck deep in corruption in the Ukraine and with an equally corrupt, meth-head of a felonious son. Then we have Kamala with the brains of a water hyacinth and,waiting in the wings, Trump, mean, vindictive, and crooked as kite string in a ceiling fan.

In Congress we have as our rulers provincial lawyers chosen in popularity contests. Having worked their way up in the politics of Nebraska or Idaho, having learned on the way the arts of talking out of three sides of their mouths and soliciting  bribes however disguised without seeming to, they now govern a vast world empire about which they know nothing. Oh,happiness.

You may think this harsh. It isn’t. A friend, very much in a position to know, estimates that ninety percent of the Senate doesn’t know where Myanmar is. All of Washington colludes in hiding the ignorance of elected officials. A reporter doesn’t ask, “Senator, where is Catarrh?” but, “Senator, what do you think of our Catarrh policy?”

“Well, I think we need to take into account all factors, such as human rights and democracy, and of course global warming….”

Nomention of nasal spray. I need a drink.



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Comments 26

  • ☆☆☆☆☆ ‘nough said.

  • Let’s play pretend. Read the Bill of Rights and then let’s pretend we live in a country where we have those rights

  • Hey, wait a minute. We had a WONDERFUL vacation in Catarrh!!

  • Hey, Fred,

    As a native of Idaho, I take exception with your description of out Senators.
    You’re being way too kind.

    Yours Truly,
    Uncle Bill

  • I used to call them the Demopublicans or the Republicrats, but I like ‘Bicephalous Uniparty’ better.
    I’ll buy you drink, Fred, if you ever come down to Praia Morro Pintado

  • I do so enjoy your satirical wit. It is quite refreshing in this age of pablum masquarading as political correctness.

    George Carlin is gazing down upon you with pride.

  • damn. Don’t ever stop, man.

  • Unfortunately the the selfish, avaricious, kleptomaniacal, amoral, and ambitious often do the wet work (at least in the US) that give the rest of us the good life. Specifically, things like the petro dollar and bombing freedom and democracy into resource rich countries for our own benefit; a kind of trickle-down psychopathy, It’s not pretty but we should be honest enough to face the fact that we all benefit from the appalling actions of our “leaders”.

    • Your a low life scum bag parasite, your kind is why the world is so fucked up. You would probably sell your own children for an economic advantage, certainly someone else’s children. Go back to the swamp you came from. 🤬 Anonymous you suck!

  • My education in the realities of the world began with yellow foot prints in a small town called “MCRD”. I quickly grew to embrace the Ambrose Bierce definition of the word cynic.

    Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.

    Keep up the good work!

  • “Nor do we have a Supreme Court. Instead we have a microlegislature of last resort consisting of ideologues appointed by Presidents for the predictability of their votes and likely longevity. ”
    Likely longevity? So why did 0bama appoint an obese diabetic?

  • And To Think I saw it on Mulberry Street. By: Dr.Seuss

    When I leave home to walk to school,
    Dad always says to me,
    “Marco, keep your eyelids up
    And see what you can see.”
    But when I tell him where I’ve been
    And what I think I’ve seen,
    He looks at me and sternly says,
    “Your eyesight’s much too keen.”
    “Stop telling such outlandish tales.
    Stop turning minnows into whales.”
    Now, what can I say
    when I get home today?
    All the long way to school
    And all the way back,
    I’ve looked and I’ve looked
    And I’ve kept careful track.
    But all that I’ve noticed, Except my own feet
    Was a horse and a wagon on Mulberry Street.

  • A dismal view of current America to be sure, Fred and the world for that matter. Crooks, scoundrels, murderous heads of some states all over the world. It seems to me that America is not perfect by any means but we don’t see millions of illegal immigrants storming into other countries. The freebies do make a difference but there is more than freebies to America — something that no other country has or has ever had in modern history. Call it Freedom, Liberty but it’s a spirit (which may be dying) that no other country has.

    And yes things seem to be getting worse. I wonder how long that will last until the people take charge again and turn the thieves, crooks and idiots out! Our Constitution authorizes such an event. An interesting book “The Fourth Turning” indicates that history seems to have a major upheaval every 75 to 100 years. The book available at Amazon offers ample examples. The last major world event was WW II some 78 years ago…. Seems the fuse may be currently burning for another major event.

    I like your characterization of Trump: Mean, vindictive and crooked as a kite string in a ceiling fan — funny. That may be true but the Liberals greatly fear this man who I think has the best interest of America at heart than any other politician alive today. He knows how to play the game domestically and internationally. He may be mean and vindictive but we surely had a great four years under his tenure — NO New Wars and much more. He (ain’t) perfect to be sure.

    While the horizon looks dark indeed with Biden leading America and the fuse is burning for a major world event….. I sincerely think Donald Trump is the last hope for the America as we know it today.


    • ” I sincerely think Donald Trump is the last hope for the America as we know it today.” I sincerely suspect we are toast if that is true, especially since R’s and D’s are the only choice we are ever really given in the national selections. The last time I supported anyone from either of those parties was when Ron Paul was running. Now, the beat goes on.

      • In my first election, 1988, I voted for Ron Paul in the general election. He was the Libertarian candidate that year. Before the LP got infiltrated and sold its soul.

        • your assessment of the LP is correct. they used to be the party of principle, but sold out to get a few more votes, meaning the LP has been hijacked. so be it. i no longer contribute to or follow the LP.

    • Unfortunately, we DO see millions of illegals streaming into developed countries. This is a worldwide problem. Look at France. France just fell.

  • It does seem that all is lost. Conservatives don’t have the balls to stand up to the left, so we tilt left until we tip over. There are glimmers of hope, here and there, but they can’t be counted on. What might work is war. We’ve had a long period of relative peace (with regard to body count) and we may be overdue for a catastrophic fight. That certainly would bring those bickering together in a way that nothing else could. Far fetched? Maybe not, we are hated in much of the world. Hated and feared.

  • The government and us are cut from the same cloth. Sam Giancana, former Chicago mob boss.

  • Thus he balks at the government’s paying university for a brilliant kid who would probably invent antigravity or something.
    Because he knows gov.com will find a way to use the antigrav he funded against him.

  • Actually, marching in KKK robes has more to do with petitioning the government for redress of grievances than freedom of expression.
    The reconstruction amendments applied the Constitution to the states. Thus, a municipality cannot sponsor a nativity scene.
    We still have trial by jury, it is just that defendants and the prosecution make deals rather than go to trial.
    The right to a speedy trial still exists. How fast it happens is a judgement call, but defendants try to stretch things out in order to burden the prosecutors and get a better deal, or even an acquittal.
    National security is unfortunately an excuse to service someone’s agenda, but sometimes it represents an actual need, and there are those who piggyback their agenda on legitimate efforts to protect the country.
    Global Warming is real, barely. Hoe much is caused by people is 95% politics.
    To paraphrase Dave Barry. Liberals are basically nicer people, but have the managements skills of celery. They would stop to help you change a tire but would somehow end up stetting your car on fire. Conservatives know how to change a tire but would not stop for fear of missing ugly pants night at the country club.

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