Geogenetic Analysis of Maya Origins: Parsing Errors in RNA Polymorphide Methylation Editing Found

Controversy has raged for decades in academia as to whether the Maya of ancient Mesoamerica independently invented writing and a sophisticated number system, with many arguing that European influence must have been involved. The recent discovery of carvings, such as the one above, in the hitherto unexplored recesses of the Chac Mool Cenote (a water-filled cave) in Tulum, Mexico, seems to establish European genetic influence.

The facial features clearly are not Mesoamerican. According to Dr. Alejandro Puracaca of the Universidad de San Juan Cosala, of Jalisco, Mexico and his colleague Raquitica Ramanujan of Oxford, writing in the Journal of Anthropological Propriety.

According to Dr. Puracaca, “The lack of the epicanthic fold in the carving establishes beyond doubt that the male depicted was not Mesoamerican, since the Amerinds lacked the fold as well, but of Nordic origin, consistent with Viking admixture. The interbreeding with a Nordic genome explains the development of a vigesimal exponential number system by the aborigines, although Europe never succeeded in this. This is a classic example of retrogeny or inverse causality, in which a technology springs in a primitive group from a more advanced people who never invented it.”

Tloxyproctyl (Photo: Bruce Chupamela, in souvenir shop of Wunxputl Parque Nacional

This further carving, also found 300 meters back in Chac Mool, is thought to be Tloxyproctyl, the Aztec god of horror and feathers, ultimately derived from Late Drosophiletic mythology, who, like the Greek Medusa, could reduce mortals to a sort of coma or deep sleep just by looking at them. This power is shared by many politicians of clear Eurowhite ancestry, suggesting genomic interlinkage. Cf. Medusa in Greek mythology.

However, there is some dispute regarding this in academic circles. Dr. Lupita Perez de los Calamares Fritas, of the Universidad de Guacala Norteña, argues that the figurine represents proto-Bacchus as the expression arguably represents a hangover afflicting the wine god following a bacchanal.

Perhaps the most fascinating in terms of evolutionary provenance is the above is presumed—though this is disputed—to be Carcajada, the goddess of fertility. According to N. J. Balacera, writing in H eterophletic Mutability Review, this is plausible since the statuette suggests interbreeding between the Maya and fish. This would explain large-scale construction by the Maya.

In terms of Mesoamerican genomics, most interesting is this ceramic mask, found in 1953 in Betabel, Yucatan, by the team of Dr. Gustavo Krankenhaus of Stanford. The provenance is clearly African though this has been denied by White Nationalist pseudoscientists. The towel is placed to conceal damage. There has been some Photoshopping to minimize cracks and other minor damage so as to show how it must have appeared during the Late Paleoprocrustean Period when it was thought to be made. Just as recent research has shown that the ancient Greeks were actually African, it now seems that the Maya also sprang at least in part from Africa, most likely from the Wunxputl Xonti tribes of modern Tanzania. This is shown conclusively by evolutionary homology, such as that both Xonti and Maya had two arms and legs. (photo courtesy Annals of the Society for Evolutionary Piety, Vol. 13, pp. xxiii)

Also from Chac Mool, Wunxputl, the goddess of sunburn and odd blue oral things. Cf. Bacchus or perhaps Fruntus in Greek mythology of the Early Myopean period, later combined by physical syncretism into Janus, the two-faced deity.

Of course another explanation or these relics is that someone left a quantity of plastalina, sort of plastic modeling clay, on our kitchen counter and Violeta started doodling with it while waiting for something to cook. I find this account inherently uninteresting and so will stick with geogenetics. That she can do these things with no training illustrates my genius for marrying women smarter that I am. (Readers will cackle that many small mammals and some plants meet this standard. Pfah. What do they know?)